The struggle most men are facing today…
You’re addicted to porn but your brain is addicted to cheap dopamine.
That is the dangerous part about the rising porn epidemic in the world.
Guys watch porn and think they can’t stop watching it because the urges are too strong to overcome but in reality it goes deeper than that. After so many years of watching the hub, your brain gets accustomed to this type of dopamine.
Cheap dopamine.
Now, you can’t go a day without beating one off because your brain will be deprived of the very dopamine it is seeking that isn’t healthy in the first place.
Today, getting access to porn is the easiest it has ever been.
You will not struggle to access the hub.
An 8 year old can access it with no struggle, sadly.
We all grow up watching the hub and other related websites.
The sad thing is we start watching it when we are young, our minds are feeble, and have not yet discovered our purpose. Then we become adults, still purposeless, and continue to practice this habit.
To live out your purpose, you need:
Passion
Energy
Focus
Drive
Fapping to porn kills those qualities.
There was a study done where they studied the brains of men who watched porn. After the study, they found that the men who watched porn had a reduction in grey matter in the striatum, a region in the brain associated with reward and motivation. This shrinkage can negatively affect the brains reward system and decision making process.
It is no wonder why guys who beat off to porn constantly also suffer from lack of motivation and drive. They are shrinking the grey matter in the striatum part of the brain that is in charge of that.
Purpose is the single most important thing in life.
Purpose is what wakes you up in the morning energized to get the day started.
Without purpose, you won’t find a reason to even be here.
In his book “Man’s Search For Meaning”, Victor Frankl said that in order to attempt to restore a man’s inner strength in the concentration camp, he has to first succeed in showing him some future goal.
He who has a why to live can bear with almost any how.
If the men in the concentration camp felt they had no reason to live anymore, they were the first ones to die.
A lot of men today are purposeless and find life meaningless.
It is usually those who are lost and feel purposeless who fall to addiction and vices easier.
The person who lacks meaning in their life feels like everything is meaningless as well. That is their perspective on life because that is how they feel about theirs. When you feel this way, you try to numb yourself with bad habits that makes you feel good in the moment.
Habits like:
Drinking
Drugs
Parties
Women
Porn
This type of person doesn’t look forward to the future.
A person who has lost faith in the future is doomed.
But it doesn’t appear that way on the surface level in the world. We see people go to work everyday and we assume that they have meaning in their life. But sadly not everyone does. Yeah they have a job but there are many people who wake up and go to work and still feel purposeless because there is no bigger purpose behind the job. They only work to survive and provide them the basic needs.
The person who feels meaninglessness may have the means to live by but not the means to live for.
For a lot of men, porn fills the void within them.
Research has been done that showed most men watch porn when they feel a lack of purpose and meaning in their day to day life. It is used as an escape.
Most men find themselves in a tricky situation.
They are unmotivated to do anything challenging and struggle to find meaning and fapping to porn is causing it to get even worse. They lack motivation to stop watching porn which is the very thing that is causing their lack of motivation.
The solution to get back in control of their life is to stop watching porn.
But it’s not easy after you’ve been practicing this habits for years, since you were in your pre-teens, before your balls had dropped.
I suddenly stopped fapping after this
There was a time in my life where i was training like an animal.
I was training for an amateur boxing fight.
By the way, i still train with the same level of intensity now but back then it was different because the goal was different.
The type of training you do when you are getting ready for a fight is very different than the type of training you do just to stay in shape or sharpen your skills and gain muscle.
It is much more intense.
Back then I lived and breathed boxing.
During that time, i had a puerto rican coach who was very tough on us, in a good way.
He was hard on us (pause) because he wanted us to perform at our best. He had high expectations so i didn’t want to let him down. I wanted to improve so i put in more work than usual.
I was going to the boxing gym 4-5 days a week.
I was running 6 miles 2-3 times a week.
I had power that was God gifted but i wanted to improve my endurance.
In amateur boxing, you could be outboxing someone but if your opponent was busier than you (threw more punches regardless if they landed or not), he would get the win. If you want to throw a lot of punches and not get tired, endurance is key.
During that time that i was zoned in on preparing, i was also doing something i was unaware i was doing at the time.
I was on NoFap.
During the months that i was training with the goal of winning an amateur fight, i had stopped beating off to the hub. It was in an instant.
I was so focused on that goal that i had stopped doing things that would get in the way of me achieving it.
Video games was also one of them.
I was playing little to no video games during that time. I was either in school or at the gym training and when i would get home, i was too tired to even play.
By having a meaningful goal to focus on, not beating off to porn was easier to do.
My mind was laser focused.
Do this and NoFap becomes effortless
As I mentioned, beating off while watching porn reduces the grey matter in the striatum region of the brain which is why you feel a lack of motivation and drive to accomplish anything hard and worthy.
The good news is that it can be reversed if you do things that increase the grey matter in the striatum - things like meditating, good sleep, exercise.
But what’s the point of doing those things if you are going to continue to reduce the grey matter by watching porn?
The best way to increase this grey matter in your brain is to stop watching porn.
There were a lot of techniques that i used in order to quit the hub for good but one thing that helped me tremendously to overcome porn is i created a purposeful goal.
For a lot of men, their problem is lacking purpose and meaning and the symptom is bad habits like porn.
The mistake a lot of people make is they try to implement different ways to go on NoFap for a long time like:
Not counting the days
Porn website blockers
Distracting yourself when you feel an urge
Spending less time on social media
and many more…
And they work but this it’s not fixing the root problem.
Once you fix the root problem of lacking meaning by adding purpose to your life, these other techniques will be additional help.
Creating a meaningful goal fixes the root problem and gets rid of porn from your life.
You’d be surprised at how easy NoFap gets when you do this.
No joke, you’ll find yourself going years without beating off once you do this.
Take it from me, it’s been over 4 years since I stopped beating off to the hub.
This is how you drastically improve the quality of your life.
This is how you get rid of the hub for good and start enjoying life for real.
The crazy thing is that by adding purpose and meaning into your life by creating meaningful goals for yourself, not only do you get rid of porn and fapping, but you also get rid of other bad habits you might have.
Creating a meaningful goal adds direction in your life.
Once you know where you are going, you know what to do and what not to do in order to stay on track.
When you have no purpose in life, or feel that way, you don’t know what is good or bad to do in your journey. You won’t care. You’ll feel like life is meaningless anyways so you’ll go and drink every night, party when you can, do drugs if offered, and beat off to porn all because you do not have direction.
When you care about something, In this case accomplishing a meaningful goal, your behavior corrects itself to make sure the goal is accomplished.
How to begin to add purpose in your life
Once you create a goal that is meaningful to you, NoFap becomes easier.
Creating a goal doesn’t require months to do. You also don’t need to find a huge purposeful goal at this very moment because you might not know what that is… yet.
But here is what you can do right now to create a meaningful goal and start adding purpose in your life so that NoFap becomes easier than ever before.
1) Start with where you are at
Meaning of life differs from man to man, hour to hour, and day to day.
What matters most is what is the purpose of your life at this very moment.
Your purpose in life right now may be very different 5 years from now.
I had a different purpose during the time i was training hard in boxing. My purpose during that time was to compete at my best.
Now my purpose is different.
Although i still box, my purpose is not to eventually become a professional boxer anymore.
As you grow and age, your purpose changes.
I’ve read many books and i’ve come to realize that there are 4 keys to living the fulfilled life:
Health
Wealth
Connection
Happiness
Look at these 4 areas in your life right now.
Identify a problem in one of them and create a goal around solving it.
2) Take the first steps
The goal is to get moving.
For instance, if you are struggling financially, create a goal to become financially free. There are many ways to get there. It is now your job to do research and take action to make it happen.
If you struggle with health, you might be overweight or extremely skinny and frail, create a goal to lose weight or gain muscle mass. Do research on gyms near you. Create a plan on how many days you will go and what form of exercise you will do.
Take action.
By doing this simple thing, you begin to add purpose to your life.
You wake up now with meaning.
The cool part is that as time goes on, while you work towards accomplishing the goals you have created for yourself, you start to get deeper into your purpose.
You started working out because you wanted to lose weight then you found a love for it and decide to become a bodybuilder and compete.
You started boxing as a way to learn self-defense and then you love it and train to compete.
You started researching ways to become financial free then you discover business and decide to start your own and grow a passion for it.
That’s why i say to not worry about creating a huge purpose right now, just start where you’re at and go from there.
I promise the road gets clearer as you move forward.
Lao tzu said:
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
3) Wake up early
Discipline starts with waking up early.
It is the hardest thing a person thinks, because when you are all comfortable in your bed with the sheets covering you and your head laying on that soft pillow, it can be hard to get up and get going especially at a time you are not used to getting up at but this is the beginning of evolving to the best version of yourself.
If you can’t get yourself to wake up early and think that’s hard, you won’t do anything else that is hard as well.
Waking up early makes you feel like you have purpose in life.
Usually a person who is depressed and purposeless wakes up late. They don’t have a sleep schedule. They hit snooze multiple times.
A person who wakes up early does so because they have things to do. They have purpose and are ready to act on it early in the morning.
Waking up early changed my life.
It not only made me feel purposeful because i was taking control of my morning but it also added discipline in my life. Only disciplined people wake up early in the morning despite feeling comfortable in their bed.
The truth is you are in control of your life. Which gives you the choice to do something different if you don’t like your current life situation.
Many men are struggling with porn especially now more than ever.
There is no barrier to entry when it comes to watching the hub anymore. It’s free on the internet and nowadays even on social media.
Most men watch it because they feel a void within them.
They have nothing meaningful to work towards. They have no future to look towards. They use the hub to cope with it.
What man needs is a striving and struggling for a worthwhile goal.
A task he has chosen to accomplish.
When you fill your free time with meaningful activities related to your goals you won’t even think about fapping to porn.
Start adding purpose in your life by creating a purposeful goal and watch NoFap become easy.
Have a great week!
📈 1 Insight from this week
Live everyday with intention
Many people do not live their days with intention.
Instead they react.
They wake up and their day is not planned. They go wherever the wind blows.
Years pass by and they don’t like where they are at. They ask themselves why.
“How did I get here?”
“Where did it go wrong?”
It went wrong the moment they went reactive and less intentional.
Stop reacting to your day everyday.
Make your days purposeful.
Not being intentional with your day is basically not being intentional with your time. You do not value your time enough. So you spend it on superficial things.
This is how you avoid arriving at a destination you do not desire.
Live your days with intention.
Plan your day the night before. Wake up the next day knowing what will get done that day.
📚 Books I am reading right now
“The 12 Week Year” - By Brian P. Moran & Michael Lennington
This is not a re-read.
This is a new book I got.
It’s about how to make a lot of progress in 12 weeks than others do in 12 months. Instead of looking at a year in terms of 12 months, this books says to look at it in terms of 12 weeks.
It has a lot of techniques on goals setting but done in the span of 12 weeks instead of the typical yearly goals.
So far it is a good book and I’ve implemented what i’ve learned so far and have more to implement!
What books are you reading right now?
💭 Quote of the week:
“A vision without a plan is a pipe dream.” - Brian P. Moran & Michael Lennington
Thanks for reading my newsletter! I hope you gained value from this.